


The List is Really Long

by FreakCityPrincess



Series: A Vast Enough Galaxy [6]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, K-2 Sassdroid, Mutual friendship - Freeform, Post-Battle of Jakku, War victory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-22 11:38:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11966586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreakCityPrincess/pseuds/FreakCityPrincess
Summary: Somehow their names were impossible to force from his tongue. It twisted, convulsed, like something bitter and difficult."It's okay," Bodhi managed to get out, his lips pressed tight because he didn't trust himself not to scream. He still hadn't cried. He wanted to, ached to, but its futility overwhelmed him. "I hope they're...together, though."Luke looked like he wanted to understand, but was more confused and curious at these words. "What do you mean?"Bodhi found a wobbly smile forming at his lips. "I think they would've been happy." He gazed up at the endless squares of pictures and notes and prayers. "I think we all would have been, together."





	The List is Really Long

**Author's Note:**

> This is a direct continuation of [Soldier Leaves for War Again](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11927121), so make sure you read that first!  
> 

The makeshift wall crowded with pictures, tacked notes and patchwork symbols of various home planets extended from the doors of the main meeting room to the middle of the hangar bay, glossed over in the soft rays of evening sun stretching over the planet. Languidly. Like it had all the time in the world, like they had all the time in the world.

And perhaps Bodhi did. An entire life ahead of him. One that at this juncture looked like it was going to be spent in regret, mourning, and a dull, aching, underlying grief crippled with nightmares of the past, and nightmares of events he'd never witnessed. 

Jyn and Cassian's deaths. 

He could see them now, standing behind him in the evening sun, negotiating a tactic to use on some contact whose name didn't bother Bodhi, while he payed them no attention and worked his ship with a hydrospanner. His fingers twitched and ached for a hydrospanner, a piece of scrap, anything to strengthen the illusion of this being an ordinary day on the eve of a mission and not... 

Someone was actually with him, right now, but he couldn't remember. Couldn't bring himself to see, pay attention, or thank that faithful friend for being with him in this moment. It would shatter the illusion. It would steal from him the feeling of a hydrospanner in his hands and Jyn and Cassian conversing in his peripheral vision.

Whoever it was, he had been silent since they'd arrived at the memorial and Bodhi was grateful for that. Some part of the ship's underbelly screeched and a hunk of metal clanged to the floor. Cassian spared him a glance, he shrugged that everything was fine, and his friend went back to the vital prep-talk. 

Yes, Cassian was his friend. Jyn was more than that. She felt like family. He didn't understand their natural connection except that it had something to do with knowing Galen in common, but he didn't need to understand.

The memorial was crowded with pictures and handwritten notes. None of the dead people were familiar. Then again, it was a long wall, there were a thousand pictures and scripts, and he had barely navigated to the middle without losing it. 

"You okay?"

"Yeah," mouthed Bodhi, not hearing himself. "Yeah."

Faces that smiled. Smirked. Looked too formal. Some bigger photographs. A General with his daughter, a pilot. A note from the man to his dead daughter. Mugshots of cadets who hadn't even survived long enough to make a rank. 

"Tell me what they look like," Luke said, carefully. Luke? Of course it was Luke.

Bodhi snapped his eyes shut to bring back the illusion. Jyn. Cassian. Their faces indistinct in his peripheral vision. Fear gripped his heart at full force that someday, _someday,_ he might forget what his friends looked like. 

"They..." Bodhi shook his head. Names, he had to give the names. Luke had known them by rank and reputation. He'd maybe sparred with Jyn once, after Chirrut's prodding. 

Somehow their names were impossible to force from his tongue. It twisted, convulsed, like something bitter and difficult. 

"I can help," said Luke, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Or maybe we can ask someone? Maybe someone will know where to look."

"It's okay," Bodhi mumbled, inaudible, his lips pressed tight because he didn't trust himself not to scream. He still hadn't cried. He wanted to, ached to, but its futility overwhelmed him. "I hope they're...together, though."

Luke looked like he wanted to understand, but was more confused and curious at these words. "What do you mean?"

Bodhi found a wobbly smile forming at his lips. "I think they would've been happy." He gazed up at the endless squares of pictures and notes and prayers. "I think we all would have been, together."

The filmlike sheen on the pictures glistened as their corners caught in sunlight, glassing an ethereal filter over the faces of fallen friends, comrades, and onetime teammates who'd fought on the same side of war. There were too many. But he would navigate through every one of them until he found the faces he was looking for, just so he can see them, make the images in his mind clearer, render their features to memory and pray for them. Yes, he would pray. It was better than crying, though he wanted to let his eyes wring out until there was no pent-up pressure left behind them.

"I'm sorry," began Luke, looking across the wall, the vast section they hadn't searched yet. "It's getting late, Bodhi. We'll come back tomorrow."

Bodhi blinked. He hadn't felt the time pass. But he dragged his eyes away from the wall, the sun was still setting and pleasantly warm. 

"Is there a curfew?" he asked. 

Luke's brow steepled into a crease. Puzzled. "Don't tell me you forgot."

Bodhi shook his head, cleared it. "I haven't been here a while. I mean, last time I was, I didn't know about a curfew time-"

"What are you _talking about?"_

"I could...uh, I could ask you the same thing," Bodhi said in confusion, tilting his head.

Luke gripped his shoulders tight, the hand with metal fingers digging into his flightsuit. " _The wedding!_ " he exclaimed incredulously. "Major Andor-"

Bodhi stilled. 

"...and Lieutenant Commander Erso," finished Luke, brows creased in disbelief. "Why are you looking like you have absolutely no idea-"

Bodhi was trembling. 

"Jyn...Jyn and Cassian are _alive?_ "

Luke blinked several times. Ran this over in his head. Put the pieces together.

"Force," he swore quietly, dropping his face to a hand. He shook himself, them grabbed his friend's forearm. "Come on, Bodhi. You're not getting late."

###### 

"Maybe you could wear a new jacket," Jyn suggested, absently tracing patterns at his clavicle. One of her knees rested against his abdomen, though not painfully, and her other leg was relaxed down the length of one of his. "Something I don't see everyday. A clean shirt is a good idea."

Cassian distractedly fingered the fabric below her belt. "I'm sure I'll manage." A beat. "What about you?"

Jyn sniffed at the shirt he had on. "You didn't think of saving _this_ for the wedding?"

"Should I wear this, then?"

Jyn wasn't sure whether to laugh or roll her eyes. "Force, _no_. By now it smells like..."

Cassian lifted her slightly by the waist, and she complied by rolling over to the spot beside him, though leaving a stubborn leg entangled with his good one.

"You didn't answer my question."

Jyn huffed. "I'll dig something up. It's not really going to be a problem, what with five people turning up."

"And Kay, though I can't promise he won't judge you."

Jyn rolled her eyes. "Of course. And Kay."

A comfortable silence drifted in the space between them. There were questions to be asked, matters to be discussed, but this was not the right time. 

Dissatisfied with the wall-side corner, Jyn scrambled back on top of him, hands beside his head and arms stretched to keep the distance. "Has Bodhi got back to you yet?"

Cassian sighed in thinly veiled annoyance. "No, but I got to find out only an hour ago why. He was discharged last week and apparently asked for medical clearance to fly a ship."

Jyn silently cursed. "I don't suppose it's easy getting here on an unauthorized ship. We can't do this without Bodhi, Cassian. Let's push it forward a few days."

Cassian suddenly appeared a little uneasy, which was far from usual for him. He traced calloused fingers at her waist from under her shirt, and she recognized it for the distraction it was. 

"Tell me," she said sternly. 

"We may not have the liberty to change the date or time, _mi amor._ " Cassian avoided her eyes. He normally used the Festian term of endearment when he was at his most vulnerable, and the flush in his cheeks was infinitely more visible during these rare moments. He could wear a mask of complete indifference when anything else happened, when any other words were being spoken, but even before she'd understood the meaning of the term she had noticed how he spoke them.

This wasn't a moment that appropriated those words, which he faltered around to utter.

"Why? Was that written in the paperwork?"

Cassian's hands traveled down the sides of her trousers, but carefully, distractedly, like he was looking for a way out of this. "Yes, but...that doesn't matter." 

She shifted just out of easy reach. "Then what does? I mean, it's not like the venue matters and we've only got to inform a few people about postponing it-"

"That," Cassian took his chance. "Is the problem."

Jyn frowned. "I don't follow."

Cassian sat up straight, bending his knees where they were, and when she moved to give him room he caught her waist and pulled her down to his lap. "Kay kriffed up."

Before Jyn could do anything violent, he tightened his hold and rocked slowly, trying to ease her fire before it sparked into full force. 

"Okay," she muttered, leaning her head back against his shoulder, breathing for patience. "Tell me exactly how Kay kriffed up."

"We didn't have to formally book the old hangar bay, but he insisted it was procedure and put in a request. From there, I'm guessing...whichever officer spotted the request decided to tell the whole Base."

Jyn's jaw dropped. "The _whole Base?_ "

"It's not as if _everyone_ is going to turn up."

"You don't believe that."

"No. I don't." 

Jyn sighed long and frustrated. "We're not doing this without Bodhi, Cassian."

"If we had the choice..."

She slipped off of him, huffing irately, to stretch out in the wall-side corner. "Jyn," he started, turning after her. 

"Alright."

"What?"

She closed her eyes. "We'll have this show wedding today because there's nothing we can do to fix it by this point, but after..."

Cassian shifted to lean on top of her, hands placed at either side of her head while his injured left leg stayed where it was. 

"We'll celebrate. Just the three of us."

Cassian smiled, a beautiful and befitting look for him that she'd seen far too few times in the war they'd fought. "Of course." He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "Of course."

###### 

The old hangar bay was as picturesque a location as it got on Base, because the open space allowed sunlight during the day and the galaxy tumbled in the overhead sky at night. The space wasn't sufficient to hold the great number of starfighters and transports, and so was decommissioned during the early weeks of settlement and left behind as a place for informal meetings and pre-mission prep-talks. Everything was bathed light yellow in the sinking evening sun. As evening grew, the atmosphere overhead caught fire, setting the open space and its methodically strewn broken ship parts a fierce crimson that stung the eyes and demanded to be felt. 

Cassian hadn't seen Jyn ever since Shara and Leia- Leia, who was about the only female on Base with a practiced fashion sense- had whisked her away to one of their quarters despite her vocal protests and flailing arms. He was in all honestly glad now because Kaytoo was the only one around to comment about his suddenly active nerves.

"There is no logical reason for you to act this way prior to your marriage," the droid sounded as petulant as he could get. "Unless, of course, you are experiencing doubts or regretting your decision to marry Jyn Erso, in which case there are papers-"

"Shut up, Kay," snapped Cassian. Ran down the front of jacket again, unnecessarily. Finger-combed his hair back in the reflective surface of a scrapped U-wing body.

"I don't see any reason to groom yourself so obsessively," commented the droid with a judgemental twinge to his vocal output. "If Jyn Erso wasn't satisfied with your regular grooming habits, there's a thirty percent chance she would have told you, a ten percent chance she would have turned down your proposal in the first place, and a bigger sixty percent chance she has simply overlooked it."

Cassian brushed his hair one way. Then another. Steepled it down the middle. "That's reassuring to know."

He knuckled the side of his face. Should he have shaved? No. Jyn and Bodhi had both looked horrified the last time they'd seen him completely clean-shaven, and the sideway glances had gone on for days. But the hairs of his beard were getting unruly. Did he have the time to go back and trim?

"You are regretting your decision to marry Jyn Erso."

Cassian forced himself to keep his patience. "I am not regretting my decision, Kay."

The droid looked down to scrutinize his face for what felt like an age. "Well, then," he concluded with an air of finality. "You are concerned about rejection, although the chances of that at this juncture are relatively low."

He shouldn't ask. "Relative to what?"

"The other negative outcomes, which include a rejection later on, or a refusal to engage in active sexual activity, or potentially-"

"Kay," Cassian held up a hand, graciously ignoring the heat rising behind his ears. "Never tell me the odds."

"You could also be concerned about the publicity this wedding has attracted-"

Cassian shot a poisonous look his droid's way. "And whose fault is that part of the ordeal?"

"People would have found out either way. This venue is quite open, and your original list of guests are well-connected individuals in many circles. The Princess has connections with several pilots and Lieutenant Bey would doubtless have told her close colleagues. Not forgetting that Kes Dameron openly considers this marriage a 'proud moment' and showed signs of informing as many people as possible _with pride._ As for your fellow Intelligence operatives-"

The only two who had survived every one of the strikes he'd lead on Imperial hubs. Shared experience in the field had earned them his trust, and while they told him truths about their hopes for the possible future, something had to be disclosed on his part as well.

"...they are the only ones who can be trusted to keep the news to themselves. I am not entirely to blame for the publicity. An amplifying factor can be yours and Jyn's respective ranks-"

"Kay."

"You appear prepared enough. I see a few officers spilling in."

So there were. A crowd of already happy pilots. 

"Give me a minute."

"Your hair is already presentable."

" _Quiet._ "

"There is not a single noticeable crease in your jacket. I do not see why you fidget with it."

Cassian didn't even grace him with a response. 

"You are well past the age of acne, Cassian."

"Would you shut down?" asked Cassian through his teeth. "Just until the wedding's over? Please?"

The droid made an oddly authentic clicking sound. "I see what bothers you the most," he said at last. "Jyn Erso is not happy about the publicity, and even more so the absence of Bodhi Rook. You wish to call this off until Rook can be present but that is made difficult in the fact that everyone's here."

Cassian sighed. He had to give his droid credit for that one, at least. Who knew Kay had an iota of ability to understand human reasons? "You're right."

"There is however only a thirty percent chance that this event will adversely affect your chances for sexual activity with Erso immediately after-"

"Bring that up again," Cassian scowled. "And I will have your memory and programming transfered to the chassis of an R2 unit. We'll see how you like being shorter than everyone and delivering your smart remarks in binary."

Kaytoo looked ready to object to the logical basis behind such a transfer, but he was denied the opportunity when Kes Dameron came jogging headlong towards them.

"I've been looking for you the past hour," he broke off into a pant, glaring at Cassian unappreciatively. "Well? What are you doing here now? There are people out there whom you're supposed to host."

Cassian massaged his temples for patience. "I don't remember inviting any of them."

Kes huffed. "A Major and a Lieutenant Commander getting married on Base. What did you expect, privacy?"

"This was a bad idea," muttered Cassian. "This wedding. We should've just waited to get back to Fest."

Kes clapped him encouragingly on the shoulder, failing pathetically to actually encourage him. "Oh, come on. You'd rather have Tauntauns be your guests than these people you work with?"

"No Tauntauns on Fest."

"I don't remember the last time I was on Fest."

"It's your home planet, Dameron, and you should remember whether there were Tauntauns eating your crops at night or not."

Kes smirked. "You're just scared as hell."

"Am I?" questioned Cassian calmly. 

Kes grinned even wider. "You're just doing that spy thing. I was freaked as kriff when I proposed to Shara and even more jumpy when we were getting married. Just so long as your bride's not pissed about something-"

"She is," Kaytoo cut in. "Bodhi Rook is not present."

Kes stopped stopped short and winced. "Oh. Right. That's an even better reason to be nervous, actually. I'll...see you later. Someone's got to keep those people entertained."

They watched him go away in a hurry, probably with the intent of not being anywhere around when an annoyed Jyn got there. 

"I'm going to wait here until Jyn turns up," he informed his droid, rubbing in the creases in his forehead. "I have no idea what we're supposed to do after that."

"I am not programmed with ample knowledge about the marriage customs of any culture," Kay said, and, he found it difficult to believe, _apologetically._ "However, if I link to one of the Base terminals to search the HoloNet, I am certain I will have something to offer you."

"Thanks," Cassian laid a hand on his tall droid's forearm. "But we might be able to pull this off without any."

"It appears as though Jyn isn't going to be, as Dameron said, _pissed,_ " Kay noted unexpectedly, his gaze fixed elsewhere.

Cassian followed it. Saw exactly what he meant. 

Had about three seconds to process this information before Bodhi's lithe but bony frame collided into him at full force, almost throwing his bad leg a whole different angle backwards.

"I thought you were _dead!_ " exclaimed the pilot. He violently gripped him at arm's length. " _Kriff,_ Cassian, I thought you and Jyn were both dead! Why didn't you- why the _kriff_ didn't you-" He broke off into a shuddering breath and embraced him again. " _Kriff._ "

For once in his life, Cassian had absolutely no idea how to respond to a situation. He'd been in bad spots before, had to think on his feet, but no part of his difficult past came close to being this baffling. He hesitantly patted Bodhi on the back, but not before noticing how stiff and tense the pilot had gone. 

"Don't do that again," he breathed through his tears. His body racked with broken sobs. "Don't you dare do that ever again."

"Over the past week Cassian has sent numerous comm-calls to the medical facility on Coruscant in which you were being treated," Kaytoo informed him pointedly.

Bodhi broke off to scrub away his tears. "Didn't get any of them," he quipped, but shakily. "You don't...you don't get the trauma I just...I went over to the _memorial wall,_ Kay! I thought you...I thought you idiots were _dead_."

"I can't die," objected the droid. 

"That's what you think," snorted Cassian, refusing to be shaken by the memory behind the words, or what Bodhi had just described... 

For a split second he imagined what it must be like. Being the only one to make it. 

"I'm sorry, Bodhi," he said, meaning it.

The pilot shook his head. "Not your fault. But...Force, never again..." He blinked away the last bit of water from his eyes and adjusted them to see clearly. He looked suddenly guilty. "Kriff, I messed up your jacket."

"Not an issue," said Cassian easily, smoothing it down the front and fixing whatever he could of it.

"Of course it's an issue," said Kay. "You've been fidgeting over the state of your jacket continually in the past eighteen minutes and twenty six seconds."

"Kay," started Cassian dangerously. 

"If you aren't taking my advice into consideration I feel I will be of more use coordinating the large number of uninvited guests you have here," the droid almost muttered. "I'm on my way."

They watched him stalk off in what could be described only as annoyance, and for a while a still silence held. 

"Sorry about the jacket," Bodhi winced. "I really wasn't thinking-"

"Can we agree on a cover story explaining your presence to Jyn?"

Bodhi blinked. "Oh. She's going to be...kind of upset if she knows what I went through, isn't she?"

"I'd appreciate if you left that out, yeah."

"Alright. Don't think I'm not still angry about it, though."

"No," agreed Cassian. "But like you said, it isn't our fault."

"Still angry, though."

"Understandable."

Unlike Bodhi's, Jyn's arrival wasn't a sudden burst without warning. 

From one of the less-crowded pathways, Leia and a group of other females- pilots, soldiers, a technician or two- were heralding a very unhappy-looking Jyn into the old hangar bay. Cassian stepped around the U-wing scrap to make himself visible and Bodhi followed, watching in growing amusement as his normally threatening, painfully-punching friend was dragged over in their direction like her fists meant nothing.

After a final muttered "Put me down" from Jyn and a go-ahead from Leia, she was released and given enough space to make her way over to them on her own. She flipped a finger at the several amused faces that cheered her arrival.

"Having a wedding here was such a bad idea-" she started as she neared, but stopped short at the sight of Bodhi. She broke into a wide smile and ran over, greeting him with an embrace. 

"I didn't think you'd make it in time," she said, fondly punching his shoulder. "You have no idea how glad I am, Bodhi."

_You have no idea how glad_ I _am._

She broke off from him to look at Cassian, who stared. "Well? What are we supposed to do now?"

Bodhi covered a grin with a hand, but neither said anything. 

It took a second for it to hit her. 

"Force-forsaken _dress,_ " scowled Jyn, crossing her arms self-consciously at her chest. The gown was one of Leia's, a formal but appropriately plain one, that didn't hold any superior grandeur over whatever the others were wearing. Still, there was a lace netting high at the neck and spread over her collarbone, together with transparent white sleeves and a skirt that reached her calves mid-way. Slightly elevated white boots stuck through.

"You look amazing," said Bodhi, patting her on the shoulder. "Really. It's a good difference. Right, Cassian?"

"It's...it is," agreed Cassian in a strained voice, averting his eyes as slight colour touched his cheeks. 

He hadn't been scared of anything when Kes had asked, but he couldn't say the same about himself now. 

Bodhi fought back a smirk, throwing an arm each around his friends' shoulders. "Come on. You've kept your two hundred guests waiting for too long."

###### 

Once the very open party got underway, nighttime had fallen, a lot of personnel were haplessly drunk, and nine different toasts had been made by comrades and admirers alike to the gracious hosts and their future together. 

Leia, whom Cassian had known since her early teenage years, decided that it wouldn't be a wedding if they didn't have a single traditional custom, and so suggested the middleman who would officially declare them as married.

When no one had been familiar with this Alderaanian custom, the Princess herself had stood on a makeshift pier and initiated it. Then everyone had toasted again and gone back to enjoying the night. 

After an overwhelming number of congratulations and pats on the back, Jyn now sat in between Cassian and Bodhi in the upper landing of a decommissioned cargo ship parked in a relatively quiet corner away from the celebration.

"Well, we made it," she leaned her head back to face the skies. Night and dotted with various celestial objects, the stars among them glittering. "I didn't think it would happen but we made it. Better than I ever hoped for."

"I'm glad you're both here," said Bodhi, seemingly in automatic response, but she didn't know the story behind it.

"We've lived through a lot, huh?" she asked dryly, the stars reflecting in her eyes if you looked close enough. If you did, the reflection mixed with her naturally present golden flecks and it became difficult to tell which was which. "Ever since Scarif..."

They both knew what she wasn't saying. Ever since Galen had been taken away by the Empire. Ever since Cassian had lost his family at six. Ever since Bodhi had realized the full extent of atrocities committed by the side he worked for and fixated on the notion of defecting. Their lives had taken a speedy turn at those junctures, running their own individual paths only to cross haphazardly at Wobani, at Jedha, through Eadu and Scarif. Been unavoidably interwined since then. 

"I have no regrets," said Cassian, his voice lowered for it to be barely audible even to the two of them.

"There was a time you avoided us," reminded Bodhi lightly, jabbing for an _I told you so._

"But that didn't work, did it?" retorted Cassian in defense. "The lot of you kept following me at mess hall, you signed yourself up as my pilot for every mission that popped up-"

"Didn't get accepted even once," pouted the pilot. Jyn elbowed him playfully- a little harder than neccessary- in the ribs. 

"And," Cassian continued as though he hadn't been interrupted, "You were the better one. Jyn on the other hand-"

"I was more subtle than Bodhi," she cut in, incredulous. "No one could have been more obvious than Bodhi."

"That's what I thought until you walked right up to Draven and asked for an expendable part in a mission."

Jyn huffed, a touch of colour in her cheeks. It only showed because of the light projecting from the bottom of the lowered ramp. "I didn't do that for _you._ I just wanted a job. Force."

"No regrets," translated Cassian with the slightest of smiles, as was customary for him. 

"And now that that's out of the way," began Bodhi with badly concealed eagerness. "How about your plans for the future?"

Cassian's lips tightened into a thin line, but Jyn just rolled her eyes at him. "We haven't discussed any of that yet, Bodhi. The bloody war just ended-"

"We're quitting," said Cassian quietly. 

Bodhi blinked, staring across at him. "What?"

The Major pursed his lips. "That's about as far as we've got. Jyn told me...about all the things you told her, before. When she was considering turning this down for the fight. The Empire may be in ruins now, worse than ruins, but Jakku wasn't the end. Just close enough to the foreseeable end that it finally feels alright to...withdraw."

"Resign," breathed Bodhi. 

"We've given more than our lives for the rebellion," said Cassian. "We've made sacrifices and done terrible things. Now there's finally something coming out of it and it looks like the rebellion doesn't need as many soldiers as before."

He ran a shuddering hand through his hair. "It'll just be small-scale assaults and wipeout operations from now on. We've stuck with the rebellion this far, got it to where it is. We've done enough."

"We're not letting go of work," explained Jyn, laying a hand on the pilot's soldier. "Cassian has his ambassadorial job and a planet to rebuild. I'll be commandeering a lot of wipeout operations from off the field. This just the end of...throwing our lives on the line. Being foot soldiers, like you said."

Bodhi released a grateful breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. It came out loud to his ears and shakily. "I'm...I'm so glad you're doing that."

"Bodhi," said Jyn seriously. "We'd like you off the field too."

He had no words. But then he almost never did, when someone so transparently cared for him. 

Cassian and Jyn were easily two of the most hard-willed, unputdownnable, dedicated soldiers he knew. They had devoted their time, lives and potential futures for the cause, over and over again, never taken the plenty of chances that had come about to call it quits. It was brave in a way he admired, and stupid in a way he hated so much that he had told Jyn to her face. He had asked vehemently whether she hadn't already done enough for the cause. At the time she'd replied that the fight mattered. It still mattered.

But they'd lost so much. They'd given so much already, given and given chunks of their health and their lives, never taking, never benefitting, most of the time doubting they'd ever live to see the results. And Bodhi was tired by now. Scarif had cost him an arm. The bloody clash on Hoth had lost them three teammates, close friends if they let themselves think about it. Every mission in between and after had been days, months, years of his life. After Endor he'd got a brief taste of freedom, but that had been surrendered to fight for the New Republic one last time. 

Sometimes, when he got the chance to reflect like this, he felt the lost years settle heavily on his shoulders. He felt the many lifetimes he'd lived. He felt older than his age. 

Always giving. Never benefitting. 

How many others would make the same decision? Only the ones who had something left to live for, he knew. Shara and Kes. Luke, with his Jedi-level of aspirations Bodhi could never comprehend. Wedge? Wedge would probably keep fighting. But the risk of horrible death on a battlefield was infinitely lower now, because the Empire could only be defeated this point onwards. 

Jyn had been so afraid of a life outside of war. But now that she was probably feeling the same way he felt- too many years giving, so much of life _spent-_ she was willing to give it a chance. 

Scarif had drained him. He'd been drained since the begging. 

And he'd told _her_ that peace was better. He wasn't going to swallow his words. 

"I think I'd like that," he said, whispered. A smile found its way to his face. "I think I'd really like that."

Jyn squeezed his shoulder in thanks, mirroring his smile. 

He was _going_ to get carried away, though.

"I can live in the vicinity. That way I can make sure you don't go and do something stupid."

Cassian shrugged, a smile subdued. "Kaytoo will be doing that anyway, but I have a feeling you'll do a better job of it."

"Can't say I like the weather on Fest, though. But I'll get used to it. Probably fix a ship engine at the back of wherever I live."

"It's really not that cold," said Jyn. 

"And when you guys have kids, I'll be their favourite uncle, obviously. They'll like me a whole lot more than Kay. I'm going to remember birthdays and-"

"Bodhi," interrupted Cassian belatedly, a choked strain in his voice. "Don't go there."

"It would..." Jyn looked back up at the sky fleetingly. "Probably be best you don't talk about that."

The pilot grinned horrifyingly wide. "Come on, guys. Don't tell me you aren't looking forward to having super cute brown and green-eyed babies running around the house-"

"Please," Jyn gritted her teeth, vainly attempting to cover up the colour in cheeks. "Leave it."

Bodhi pulled a wide-eyed face. "But I've already made bets with Luke and Shara about what colour eyes your first will have. My bet's on brown. Kay said there's a fifty-fifty chance."

"You _wanted_ him here," Cassian muttered to a side, not brave enough to make eye contact at the moment.

"Not sure about that anymore," Jyn muttered back, the galaxy reflecting in her eyes again. 

"Hey," Bodhi raised his palms in surrender. He looked a little sober now, but still undeniably joyous. "I'm sorry. This is all just...a lot, you know? And it's good. It's really good."

Cassian shrugged. "It's about time we had some good."

"Mmhm. Chirrut and the others are probably watching from the Force right now."

Jyn wiped away a sudden stinging sensation in her left eye. Bodhi had a lot of faith in the Force. It allowed him to cope and, sometimes, it made things easier for them as well. 

"I bet they are," she said with a half-smile. Sometimes, like now, she did believe it. The kyber-half pressed to her breastbone seemed to burn in confirmation. 

"Hey, Chirrut," said Cassian, looking up. "Hey Baze. Rostock."

He probably imagined it, but the half of kyber around his neck felt suddenly warm. 

It had been an offering a long time ago, from Jyn, back before Hoth when their fellow survivors were still alive, when an informat gone bad resulted in the breaking of her precious possession. And she'd given him one of the halves as a gesture of trust. 

Somehow his hand found hers in the space between them. 

Bodhi's sudden feigned yawn broke through the stretch of easy silence.

"You know, I'm a little..." Another exaggerated yawn. "Tired. It's pretty late. I'm going to go to bed."

Jyn raised an unimpressed eyebrow but refrained from commenting. 

" _Very tired_ ," he went on, unconvincingly. "So I'll get going...be back soon. In the morning. Because I'm going to sleep."

He flashed them a salute before waltzing further into the ship, casually flicking off the corridor lights as he went.

"He can't lie to save his life," commented Jyn warily. 

"As long as his life isn't in danger," said Cassian, just that much closer to her ear. She felt his breath on her cheek raise traitorous hairs. 

Still she suppressed a grin with the greatest difficulty. "You know how many times you have done something actually romantic so far, considering it's our wedding?"

"The same amount of times you have. Absolutely none."

"I think that's what Bodhi was trying to get across."

"Vague, but I'll take it."

"Cassian?"

" _Si, mi amor?_ "

Her eyes dropped to his lips. Then met his gaze again. Questioningly. 

Laughing- and actually laughing, which was about as rare an occurrence for him as it got- he took her face in his hands and pressed a chaste, contended kiss to her lips. 

Jyn grabbed his collar as soon as he pulled away and brought his mouth down to hers again. She was rough and more insistent, clamping her eyes shut and deepening the kiss until the slightest of sighs escaped him. 

"Don't stop," breathed Cassian when she broke it. "Jyn, please don't stop."

Jyn's hands dropped down to his instead, and her eyes turned on a quietly chuckling Bodhi sitting on a crew bench in the dark interior of the ship, glaring. 

"I'm s-sorry," he croaked, gleeful, getting to his feet and backing away. "I'll go now. Have a nice night. Um, congratulations again."

"I'm going to head over there and-"

"Give him a break," said Cassian. "He's been through a lot."

Jyn frowned. "What do you-"

He met her lips softly. Without meaning to, she let go of the issue about their pilot friend and opened her mouth to his.

"You're slow," she muttered when he pulled back. 

"The kid's watching," he said in perfect seriousness, then called into the interior of the shuttle, "Bodhi, one last thing."

Bodhi appeared once again. "Yeah?"

"We already have a child."

Jyn bit back a laugh and looked away, knowing their friend's bewildered expression would simply be too much for her. 

"W-What-Really?" stuttered the pilot, his eyes impossibly wide. "How come I didn't- you mean now? Is Jyn...or...like...where?"

Cassian had already walked the distance to clap a conspiratorial hand to his shoulder.

"You."

He barely had the time to dodge the range of a kick aimed his way. " _Kriffing hell,_ you've already scared me enough today!"

"Are you going to keep lurking in the corner like that or join us for a drink?"

Bodhi made an undignified sound in the back of his throat which caused Jyn to actually release her restraint and laugh. He shot her a sour look.

"You're both messed up."

Jyn stood up to lead him down the ramp with Cassian. "I'm not the one who hangs around in the back while-"

"Oh for Force's sake!"

"Drinks, Bodhi," said Jyn. "And to bed after that. No arguing with six hours of sleep."

"You'll be fantastic parents," snorted Bodhi as they touched ground. The party had kicked up several notches in attendance, but contrastingly in volume it wasn't much. The music being played was slow and the sabacc players had grown less raucous as the night wore on.

The galaxy overhead expanded in an unpredictable arrangement of planets, stars, asteroid belts and gas giants. Somewhere out there, a local rebellion was winning and Imperial occupants were being driven into retreat. Somewhere out there the last remains of the Empire were regrouping. 

It would be no match for the formidable force their rebellion had become. They had served since the first defining victory. Just served in the last. 

Bodhi felt a brief stab of pain at the reminder of all he did lose and could have lost- but the worst of it was in the past, and the two people who mattered to him most weren't pictures on a memorial wall just yet. 

Perhaps they would never be. 

"Keep up, Rook," Cassian called. He'd fallen several steps behind in the space of a minute. 

Maybe, Bodhi smiled to himself, allowed for a long-kindled spark of hope to glow brighter. Maybe they'd done enough.


End file.
